Thursday, December 22, 2011

Gary Warnett's Hate List 2011

This guy, whoever he is, kills it and says all the things I love to think. I'll post a few of my favorite lines down below if you're too busy stupid to press continue reading.

I like stuff but it doesn’t make me qualified to consult on things. I drink several glasses of water a day, but I’ll be damned if I understand what water is made up of — I’m guessing it’s atoms or some shit — so why does time spent relentlessly tweeting a prop-hunting list of @ brands or names after everything you do with the same thirst that I approach those pints of H2O make you some kind of social media guru? It makes you look lame. Same goes for hashtag hunger. There’s far more to social media than being a gobshite. 

Your Lookbook is Terrible  

Skinny dudes with side partings walking around a park in Obey hats, Vans Eras and chinos! Now I hate your store even more. And that Penfield lookbook of the cheery couple? Lame. If you haven’t got an original idea for your showcase of styles, don’t bother. Lay them flat on the ground. This is what happens when Streetwear Dave consults for a project and brings his fellow Streetwear Daves into the fold. But seeing as taking an Instagram shot, writing a tweet and getting dressed in the morning could be enough for somebody to claim that they’re a multifaceted creative with photography, journalistic and styling experience, nothing should surprise you any more, and at the current rate nothing is liable to ever surprise you again. 

Engaging in overwritten explorations of how influencing operates? Give it up. Just enjoy the fact that people throw money at people for doing very little compared to anybody that works in the public sector, doing a proper job. In the event of a dirty bomb and the subsequent rebuild of mankind, you’re going to be low down on the pecking order. What we going to do? Painstakingly “blog” a teaser of the crude rebuild of a health centre onto a piece of slate with a rock? Let’s enjoy this nonsense while it lasts. 

If you’ve ever emailed anybody asking for advice because you’re “…thinking of starting a blog” then you’re already lost. The tools are out there, yet you’re pondering something you could set up in minutes? What’s that all about? Just go out and do it. Fill it with talk of “fits” and some kind of quest for “fresh.” Call yourself an online lifestyle magazine. Just go and do it. If you feel the urge to amass a team of “content creators” do it, but remember that 70% of them will post two things before giving up, because their real world enthusiasm isn’t matched by their blog work rate. So to speed up the process, just do it yourself. What’s so hard about that? No need to ask advice. Just go and do it. 

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