Frank Ocean did not want to do this interview. (In fact, for the first hour he thought I had called only to discuss the feature, and didn't realise I was actually interviewing him.) Sorry, Frank! "That’s cool," he said. "I'm happy to talk about whatever. Just make it good." Over the course of two hours we discussed all the usual things you might talk about with a critically acclaimed singer/songwriter — like the function of pants, Oprah's facial expressions, and selling crack in high school.